5.2.09

Jealous


Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening. ~Maya Angelou

Jealousy is unpleasant. It stands on fear. It's related to hate and anger and fat. If you keep it around, it will infect your soul, effecting everything else in your world. Food becomes tasteless, your will get sickly, and even colors look gloomier (research found that unpleasant emotions tighten the veins around the eyes, hence effecting colors).

So, when jealousy strikes, what do you do?

First of all, acknowledge it.

You might have been accused obsessive possessiveness. Or maybe it's just PMS. Either ways, find out when, where, how, why and with whom does it feel bad? As a rule, jealousy occurs only when there are three people involved. And it rarely happens to people who are assured of themselves. The cool and honest don't get jealous.

Next, fix it.

Arabic is a masculine language, so it's usually the guys who throw the word "jealous" around. Whereas in English, jealousy is more of a feminine attribute. Either ways, jealousy doesn't get fixed when you tell your beloved not to work in an egalitarian office environment, and keeping a 24/7 watch is exhausting to both of you.

So here's what I'm suggesting instead:

1. Join them
Jealousy is an awkward homage which inferiority renders to merit. ~Mme. de Puixieux

What is it about the third person that bothers you so much? Let's say you hate his fluency in French. You probably can say "Merci" and "Bonsoir!", but that's about it. Here's a good time to start improving. Start with saying "tu me manques tellement", followed by a French kiss and prolonged foreplay. You get where I'm going? Self-improvement is the word, mate! Turn heads by beating your rivals in their element.

Too complicated? Try the next solution.

2. Beat them
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. ~Ambrose Bierce

So maybe linguistic eloquence has never been your element, and you'd rather try something else to impress. Great! What are you good at? Making a kickass steak? Massage? Or both at the same time? Scrub on those talents and let them shine. Then show it off. Some things just can't be changed, and it's more convenient to celebrate your assets than splurging on crash course in French Grammar.

But if neither of the above works...

3. Drop them
In jealousy there is more self-love than love. ~ François, Duc de La Rochefoucauld

...and you're out of tricks but your beloved is still adamant in looking the other way? You know what, maybe you've been swimming in the wrong pond. Maybe you've been aiming too high or too low. Maybe, just maybe, you guys aren't supposed to spend so much effort on trying to accept each other, rather than accepting your individualities first.

Gather yourself and your friends, then shut your mouth and move out before you waste more time on a bullheaded jackass. Better now than later, before you get stuck with kids in between. And if kids are the actual reason why you can't move out, then focus on them and preserve your dignity with charity and kindness.

For your own sake.

The underline is, if you're jealous a lot, either that you're not trying hard enough, or that you can't see your own qualities or that you've attached your heart on the wrong person.

Simple, na?

Now tell me, when was the last time you were jealous? What did you do?

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