Pleasure – Reappraised

My grandmother kept an obscure book, that my uncle Arie accidentally read and retold to me when he came across Darah: Hers, coinciding with Jeweira's post on whether women are easier to please in the beds of wealthier men.

A Polynesian man cannot marry until he knows how to please a woman in bed by coming under the tutelage of (and sexually satisfying) an elderly woman (brief and ever politely hinted here).

Now, before you decide on moving to Polynesia, mon cher, think about these issues concerning the health of your hip area and backbone:

1. Older women are, you know, older. And these are Polynesians we're talking about, not Diane Keaton or Julie Andrews. Most of them are (still) animists, and hold pig blood sacred, and ate people sometimes. Need I say more?

2. Older women are so much harder to please than hormone-driven younger ones. It's not just their skin that's weathered to leather, but so have their hearts and minds. You cannot woo – much less sexually arouse – an older woman with the regular junk, but with a lot of sweat. Both in and outside the bedroom.

3. Older women, by chance, could have had other students in their time, and if you've read Marquez or Coelho, you might have noticed how intimidating a woman's experience is for Junior to stand up to. Pun intended.

Generally speaking, happy parents make happy children. Since the duration of an intercourse relies on the duration of penile function, it becomes a serious matter to tackle or at least learn ways to work around it when it's dysfunctional.

How some parents could still manage to "do the deed" while they're pissed with each other is beside the point.

So it's not hard to assume how a generation of unhappy and uptight baby-boomers came after the war, consuming much of civilization's happy buttons with vicious capitalism, communism or Wahhabism. Especially, as quoted here, since a healthy relationships with one consistent partner more important than money.

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