20.12.08

Dating in Saudi: One Last Time

I got asked more than once. So I respond; and writing it down here drastically lessens the verbal frequency .
Press (Ctrl + W) or (Alt + F4) whenever you feel the need to vomit. Vote on the poll (top of sidebar) to stress your opinion. I listen.

[Update: Poll is now closed. Click here for the feedback post. Or just scroll up, for heaven's sake.]

How does dating in Saudi work?
How does any dating anywhere work? Dating is courtship, a behavior of choosing mates. Whether it's life mate, diving mate, best mate, class mate, roommate, play mate.

Traditionally it goes like this: You meet someone who ticks your fancy. One of you proposes a plan of spending time together. One of you agrees. The date happens. Then you evaluate whether you want to date some more or you would rather date someone else. If you're lucky, and you've dated long enough, you might have the chance to make it to the sex-date.

The Sex Date.
In a lot of sitcoms, this is usually the third date. Which is creepy and risky by any standards. The sex date should happen only when both parties are really, really comfortable with each other. Some folks can only be so comfortable after the wedding, and that's fine. Some folks sex date every first date, and that's bestial and oh-so WRONG.

Can the sex date happen in Saudi?
Yes, sex is the basic reason why animals and people date. Just like in the animal kingdom, sex is a commodity with different pricing levels. It is the appraisal that makes the dating scene so colorful and this blog so interesting. Haha.

In the animal kingdom, males need to prove that they are able to provide sustenance, and the females assess whether or not these offerings fit their fancy. Humans have more complex desire system and SOME would want to get laid just for the sake of it. Now in my black-and-white opinion (and in my mother's voice), humans who settle for less than the basics animal prerequisites for a sex date (a.k.a. sustenance) are just tragic.

Dating in Saudi is doable. It can be enjoyable and for what it's worth, can end up in long term commitments.
Dating in Saudi is not to be taken for granted. Generally speaking, no protection method provides 100% prevention from pregnancy and STD.
Dating is not an option that can be applied by for everyone.

How did the dating scene change in the past little while?
Crash course in history: people dated from the days of Layla w Majnoon, Antara and his Babe, Sulaiman and Sheba. After graduating from elementary school, my classmates and brothers dated, heaven knows what happened in college and beyond. You can blame Bluetooth, the internet, GSM phones, even little torn pieces of paper with phone numbers on it, but the idea is obviously the same: Dating has always been around.

Where to Find a Date in Saudi.
The good news is that you're not the only one who's looking. The dating scene is lush with potentials. Whatever your intent maybe, there's market for most sorts of folks. Although I still wondering if there're BDSM clubs in Jeddah.

Work Based:
Hospitals, schools, institutes, good causes. Be involved. Don't just show up to drool. You're missing the entire point.
Niche Based:
Diving, photography, literature, medical, education, internet communities that arrange meetings on diverse frequencies.
Internet Based:
Forums, deviantart, facebook, blogoshpere. If you're patient you are actually increasing your chances meeting folks you actually like. The challenge is that you actually HAVE. TO. STAND. OUT.
Event Based:
Private parties (considering the risks, I wanted to leave this out because it's something I wouldn't do), embassies, bazaars, movie premiers (where the hottest, smartest and bored-est folks gather over some amateurish movie done by some Saudi who happens to be my little brother. I'll tip you the next time he gives another premier) .
Reference Based:
Weddings and wakes and everything in between. Same sex gatherings with folks who have siblings and children from the opposite sex who might have hobbies and brains. The drawback to this is that you also get to meet the cousins and aunts you've been avoiding.

Is it really so common to date in Saudi?
Depends on location, community, and interests. Jeddah is pretty laid back, loaded with cafes and meeting places and events. And of course, the cool ones live in Jeddah.

Having a hobby actually increases your chances in finding dates and makes you look hotter than midday Saudi sun. My brother makes movies, so whenever he's desperate for a smart pickup line, his movies do all the talking for him. My cousin is a mutawwa, he didn't date or talk to girls unrelated to him, but he married a beautiful (in every sense) girl nevertheless.

What kind of bullshit is this?
Hey, man, you asked. Learn to appreciate bullshit, because nobody would write so much of it if they didn't know it well. You are gifted with ultra-superior mental processes compared to primates, which endows you with the ability to sieve through information. Think, man, don't just swallow it whole.

How valid is all of this information?
Information is worthless without comprehension. Comprehension is useless without faith. It doesn't matter what anyone knows or thinks or says, because at the end, truth is only what confirms with your conscience. So I hope you maintain to have a clear one.

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