3.8.09

About the Calling

"Solitude is un-American." ~ Erica Jong

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[When the family came, they brought along elements of their Saudiness to remind you what you could have become if you agreed to go back with them. You could have become, they hammered, something bigger, flashier, more majestic than a hermit. It’s sadness for their dissatisfaction that brought you the Timekeeper for guidance. And he told you to sleep on the thought. So that your hearing may improve.]

Once, said the Timekeeper, there was a peculiar foreigner who decided to leave his home and family. He got in his car and drove it until he ran out of gas. Then he left the car, knocked on the nearest house he found, and lived in that town since then.

Did he know the people there, in that new place?

He didn’t.

Why did he go there?

Because in he thought that the people back home were the ones living on the wrong. And, because he had to answer a calling.

Where did the call come from?

It’s gotta be the Lord talking if you can’t deny that kind of peaceful clarity and resolution, kiddo.

His people must’ve thought that he were crazy to go.

Wouldn’t you?

He left anyways, with something that can be diagnosed as an audio-hallucination as his only guide and confirmation. Is that alright? Is it right to do that?

It can be. The Lord had said, ✿"They (angels) said (to them): "In what (condition) were you?" They reply: "We were weak and oppressed on earth." They (angels) say: "Was not the earth of Allâh spacious enough for you to emigrate therein?"✿ [HQ 4:97]

If I stay here, I might never get married or have children. I might never have the universal standards of living. I might never have the things that people take for granted. Sometimes I miss conventionality, and I don’t even understand why I don’t want it anymore.

Do you want to go back?

Has the calling ended?

That’s for you to know, child.

This choice costs a huge sacrifice.

It does.

Do you think it’s worth taking if I am content with myself, with what I’m losing and what I don’t know? Is this Heaven?

It can be.

That’s all I needed to know. That’s all I ever needed, to know.


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