8.9.11

Muscle Memory: Choosing What to Remember

Whatever happens, please let me pick own nose. - Alia Makki

The human body loses its ability to hold water with age. Newborn babies hold 75% water in their bodies (most forgetful of humans), septuagenarians only 50% (most defined personalities). Naturally, the lesser water a body holds, is the less flexible it becomes, the harder for the muscles to learn new tricks.

The good news is that, muscles that are used most often are usually the last that will lose flexibility.

If I may choose, I'd rather lose the flexibility to pick my nose the last. Whether it is with your forefinger or pinky, you know how great it feels to pick your nose expertly? How easy it is to breathe and smoke with a clean nostril? And how pleasurable it is to go digging for that illusive booger and … well.

What more is that I can only be an expert picker-of-my-own-nose by dedicating so many hours to it. Yes, I want to learn photoshop, painting, capoeira and singing. But if I spend time on learning those things, I'm going to have to sacrifice precious nose-picking practice hours. When and how am I going to be a nose-picking expert if I keep wasting my time with mediocrity?

So when a foulmouthed, overslept morning finds me crawling from under a crushing mountain of failures, I tell myself that, out of the remaining 9973 hours designated for yoga nose-picking, that could be the very hour that my pinky will remember how to pick the perfect booger in a single, sliding motion.

So that I when lose the rest of my water, and my muscles freeze in forgetful rigor mortis, it's going to be buried with a soft nostril, damp with its last boogerless breath.

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